13 August 2007

Support Group

Fashion First Aid

Your tits are down to your ankles (but you can’t possibly wear a bra with that frock). The sweat rings under your arms are the size of meteorites.

Does your summer dressing leave a lot to be desired?

In case of sartorial emergencies, get some Fashion First Aid. The new range of fix-its incorporates the usual tit tape and chicken fillets, as well as some genius new fixtures, all of excellent quality (i.e., the stick stays sticky and the plastic’s nice and thick).

Supportive companions include Boostits (for a grope-inviting cleavage), Tapeits (to keep aforementioned cleavage well framed) and Stopits (for those who sweat more than an onion in a frying pan). Pack in a suitcase or handbag and use on the go, as and when you see fit.

And then the only thing on your ankles will be a desperate pair of hands.

Just don’t drag the poor man around too long.

Available at Harvey Nichols, 109-125 Knightsbridge, SW1X 7RJ (020 7235 5000 or harveynichols.com); Austique, 330 Kings Road, SW3 5UR (020 7376 4555 or austique.co.uk); online at asos.com.