14 August 2007

Dear Dairy

Stony Yoghurts

Two cows enter film set.

Cow 1: Hi, babe. How’s things?
Cow 2: Mmmanic. Haven’t stopped. You?
Cow 1: Bits and bobs. A casting for some new Working Title flick and a butter commercial last week.
Cow 2: Good mmmmooooove.
Cow 1: You?
Cow 2: I’m making yoghurt for Stony.
Cow 1: Wow! You got the Stony job? I want that gig.
Cow 2: It’s super cool; they’re on a mmmission to save the world. They’re doing flavours like True Blueberry and Vanilla the Hun; the desserts have real toffee and chocolate swirls in them like ice cream.
Cow 1: Mmman, that’s sweet. How much are they paying?
Cow 2: Pots.
Cow 1: You lucky cow.
Cow 2: I know. I’m seriously mmmilking it. Anyway, let’s get this Disney shoot over with. I’ve got mmilk to mmake.
Cow 1: Tell mmme about it. These false eyelashes are killing mme.
Director: Ready. And action …

Cows tapdance to James Blunt’s soundtrack (‘You’re Mootiful’) with fellow cast (assorted farmyard animals) and retreat off set for lunch.

Available at Whole Foods, 63-97 Kensington High Street, W8 5SE (020 7368 4500 or wholefoodsmarket.com); all Sainsbury’s and Tesco stores; online at ocado.com. To see products, go to stony.co.uk.