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Million Dollar Baby

Daddy, I want a pony.

I also want a record deal, bigger tits and better hair.

All daddies (including the genetic, the step and the sugar varieties) should send their little princesses to Hari’s on Brompton Cross for the new ...

Toxic Shock

Friday morning. Your head is pounding. You’ve got a love bite on your neck, a phone number on your hand and you’ve no idea where (or whom) they came from.

Serious action is required if you’re going to survive the ...

From Russia with Love

Black rubber, PVC and a few red marks across your backside: not everyone’s idea of fun.

But if there’s one thing we should all agree upon, it’s that getting whipped with a handful of birch twigs is a good thing.

Not ...

Going to Great Lengths

Bikini, underarms, legs, upper lip,  backs, sacks, cracks…

Just when ripping unwanted hair from unmentionable places is at its summer peak, adding more of it would seem, at the very least, incongruous.

But Jinnylash semi-permanent eyelash extensions buck the trend ...

Stuck on You

“And now, to make your own life-size space rocket, you need some cardboard and four rolls of sticky-backed plastic.”

If only the Blue Peter presenters had known the potential of their favourite craft ingredient. Millions of women have secured their bosoms with ...

Tanned to a Tea

Two great British traditions: pasty, white legs and a nice cup of tea.

What genius, then, that one can benefit the other. This (PG) tip comes straight from your grandmother’s wartime book of radiance on a ration card and works ...

So Near, So Spa

Themed parties. Always more hassle than they’re worth. (Come, now, it’s impossible to look glamorous while dressed as a tube station.)

Thankfully there is a less humiliating alternative. Unlisted London’s new Sparty service will bring a spa party to your ...

Get Some Nookie

Stinky buses, jam-packed tubes, hordes of dithering shoppers. That blonde guy preaching on his megaphone at Oxford Circus. (You have to admire his stamina).

Ah, the soothing charm of the West End during sale time.

Cheer up, Miss Grumpychops. Nip ...