Not a peep in thirteen years; we thought he may be pushing up daisies. (Here’s looking at you, The Last Days of Disco.) True to form, Whit Stillman resurfaces with a dance-crazy campus comedy about a group of delusional dames trying to save their peers from suicidal thoughts and the Greek — scratch that — Roman tragedy that is frat. Meet the babbling blossoms: Rose (the snob), Heather (the ditz), Violet (the leader), and Lily (the voice of reason). Their charm is rooted in sunny sarcasm, so you have no excuse to take a rain check.
It’s like: Clueless gets a clue, and Heathers lives on.
Take: Perennial favorites.
Premieres: Today

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

Married with Children, Friends with Kids, 16 and Pregnant. Let’s adopt another baby boomer: Kat Coiro’s debut comedy starring that B–- in Apartment 23 (known to Mom as Krysten Ritter) and Kate Bosworth. They play Kim and Deena, best friends trying to hold on to their infantile, party-going lifestyles postbaby. The film’s full of girl-power raunch (courtesy of Ritter’s co-writing), and though there’s no crazy plot twist, there are some one-liners mature enough for an Apatow production.
It’s like: The Sweetest Thing meets Knocked Up.
Take: The Kahlúa klatch.
Premieres: April 13

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

Hits a soft spot in our heart. From Kurt and Courtney’s playpen to the doggie day care that fetched drummer Patty Schemel from her curbside K-hole, the festival-moshing doc chronicles the Hole story. Used to the spotlight, the girl with the most cake (Courtney) plays second fiddle to Schemel’s grungy Hi8 footage. Maybe it’ll spark a comeback? Now that’s an American reunion that excites our doll parts.
It’s like: Behind the Music meets Intervention.
Take: Groupies.
Premieres: April 13

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

A cabin. In the woods. Where bad things happen. Quite the lofty concept, huh? Assume nothing when puppet master of a writer Drew Goddard (Lost, Cloverfield) is pulling the strings. Look, we’re not going to be the ones to plant the seed; his directorial debut unfolds best if kept in the dark. We will tell you the film opened SXSW and had fans raving. The woods? Virtual terror. And that cabin? It’s the ultimate haunt.
It’s like: Ripley’s Believe It or Not.
Take: A hunk, a brain, a vixen, a stoner, and, of course, a virgin.
Premieres: April 13 (That’s a Friday, folks.)

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

If A Separation gets the A, then Monsieur takes home the plus. The Canadian delight breaks filmmaking rule No. 1 (avoid casting kids) plus stars a comedian from Algeria plus turns morbid subject matter into an overall cheery watch. Earning extra credit with critics, the Oscar-nominated drama focuses on a couple of students who catch a glimpse of their teacher’s suicidal aftermath. Dark, we know, but leave it to substitute teacher Mr. Laz to handle it before recess.
It’s like: Doubt meets The Class.
Take: Your seats, please.
Premieres: April 13

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

Let’s start this Three 6 Mafia style: You know it’s hard out there for a chimp / When he’s only 3 and has no one of descent / For the piggybacks and free honey he spent / Makes him have to form an unlikely close friendship. So goes the beat of Oscar’s drum. A sucker for bugs on a stick and subject of Disneynature’s latest creature feature, the little guy loses his mother to rival chimp Scar (typecast, we’re sure) and finds home improvement we never saw coming.
It’s like: Story time with Tim Allen.
Take: The whole barrel. It’s a jungle out there.
Premieres: April 20

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When you hear Jack Black, it’s easy to think “one-trick pony.” Well, that label can RIP, because he kills it as Bernie Tiede, a subdued, church-going funeral director from East Texas. Fresh off SXSW, the humorous mockumentary from Dazed and Confused director Richard Linklater tells the true story of a sweet man who murders his sugar mama. It unfolds through the chitchat of the townsfolk of Carthage, where it’s hotter than a fur coat in Marfa, and there are more Texasisms than you can shake a barbecue rib at. You’re gonna laugh; we guarandamntee it.
It’s like: Drop Dead Gorgeous meets I Love You Phillip Morris.
Take: The locals.
Premieres: April 27, y’all

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

Ain’t he pretty? Scott Speedman steals the show as Eddie Boyd, a man who robs banks but ransacks the Kaboodle first. In Nathan Morlando’s Genie-nominated (think Oscars for Cannucks) debut feature, Eddie gives up on Hollywood and casts himself as postwar Toronto’s most famous criminal. And thanks to The Black Keys and Max Richter’s thumping score, the setting’s wintry mix is one we can warm up to.
It’s like: Public Enemies de l’Ontario, eh?
Take: Your Patsy or your entourage.
Premieres: April 27 (in theaters and the big house)

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.

Brit Marling, she’s from Another Earth. Writer, director, cult leader from the future. In guy pal Zal Batmanglij’s debut feature, Maggie (Marling’s latest self-written enigma) coos followers into submission with her velvety vocals. Namely, Peter, a journalist trying to expose her as a quack. Zal’s brother, Rostam, scores the film (doesn’t suck to have the Vampire Weekend genius around), but we’re wondering who choreographed that precocious patty-cake.
It’s like: Martha Marcy May Marlene with a trace of K-Pax.
Take: Your secret circle.
Premieres: April 27

Find showtimes online at fandango.com.