Sick of stewing Amazonian bush twigs for your constipation? Forgetting to take your multi multivitamins with your soya decaf latte? Still confused whether a herbologist is for furry tongues or barren window boxes?
Try a little vacuuming instead. Not the menial kind. The kind ...
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sofa delivery.
Sofa delivery who?
The sofa delivery department who’d like to inform you that the canvas stripe deluxe five-seater you ordered yesterday will be delivered approximately four to six months later than originally thought.
What a joke.
Need to get ready in a flash? (Again?)
Parties. They’re supposed to be fun. But by the time you’ve scaled the London transport system, raced home, cobbled an outfit (or five) together, washed your hair, reapplied your makeup and arrived ...
It’s 7 p.m. Your guests are due in half an hour. You’ve raided the supermarket. Raced home. You need to cook. Change. Create a sexy, lounge bar-esque environment. In minutes.
Without, apparently, the help of any flowers.
Don’t let such a ...
The postman always rings twice? Yeah, right. These days, you’re lucky if (s)he ever rings at all.
Want to scream when you find that slip under your door at the end of the day? The one that says, ‘Because you were ...
Honestly. Kids these days. They’re not they what they used be. They’ve left their break-dancing moves behind to audition for Pop Idol and set up herbal drink companies.
Thank goodness someone is carrying on the tradition.
If you’re a skater, snowboarder ...
So you missed the Venice Film Festival. (Again).
No great loss. The only place worth being seen there anyway (other than on the red carpet) is around the pool at The Cipriani. And unless you are a) Harvey Weinstein ...
It’s Friday. You’re looking forward to a night in front of the telly, when the heartthrob of your dreams calls. ‘Would you like to come away for the weekend? We leave tonight’.
You go puce. You hyperventilate. You’re thinking about your ...
