Ah, the joys of dog ownership. The devotion. The loyalty. The unconditional love. The poop. Face it: You adore little Sparky, but you had no idea a Jack Russell could produce so much waste! It’s downright alarming. Not to mention the fact that the yard is suffering from overfertilization. Time to call the Doody Dude. That’s right. Neil Ward, a.k.a. the Doody Dude, runs the premier dog-waste-removal service (“We’re #1 in the #2 business!”) in L.A. He’ll gladly come to your house, remove Sparky’s droppings from your yard, and dispose of them per county regulations. And cootiephobes take note: Ward disinfects his equipment and shoes after cleaning, so Sparky’s safe, you’re spared, and your yard can flourish in feces-free glory. Love your kitty but not her litter? The Dude will clean her box, too. A mention of DailyCandy will get you 50 percent off your first month’s service, so what are you waiting for? It’s not like you’d rather do the job. Doody Dude (866-888-POOP); and online at doodydude.com.