You? An environmentalist? Not quite.

You wear leather, eat veal, and haven’t hugged a tree since that particularly bad mushroom trip back in ‘89.

Still, that’s no reason to turn a blind eye. If there were a way to care about the environment without sacrificing fashion or comfort, wouldn’t we all be getting our eco-freak on?

Okay, no one’s gonna talk you out of your Sigersons, but perhaps you’d consider replacing those leather sneakers with a vegan alternative?

Love the Earth all you want. Just make sure to wash well afterward. Atta Girl’s hemp-oil soap keeps your body squeaky clean, while Hamadi hair-care products are made with 100 percent natural ingredients and tested, as the company proudly proclaims, on “actresses, not animals.”

Those seals still need saving. For every seal tee you buy from Wildlife Works, the organization donates $10 to the Humane Society, which is currently conducting a campaign to save seals from the Canadian policy that allows hunters to club seals and skin them (sometimes while still alive). Look cute. Protect the cute.

Having a party? Good for you. But consider that most invitations begin as trees and end as trash. Instead, buy gorgeous paper from Invitesite and print the cards out yourself. Two thirds of the stock is tree-free and recyclable: mulberry paper, a Nepalese paper called lokta, and Indian cotton rag (made out of the trim from the garment industry in mills set up by Gandhi himself!).

Vinyl is only tacky when it masquerades as leather. A sparkly wallet from Arntson Designs leaves no doubt about its inauthenticity — or its PC pedigree.

How does your garden grow? God knows. (Uh, something about photosynthesis, right?) Here’s what doesn’t make it grow: aphids and other pests. Don’t spray that nasty pesticide, though; rather, get a ladybug house and make use of nature’s own pest-control system. These universal symbols of quaintness are actually vicious devourers of soft-bodied insects.

See? It’s entirely possible to love nature without ending up a big heap of tie-dye and granola.