Los Angeles - February 11, 2004

Your Keys, Please

Home James Service

It’s not that you don’t like driving.

It’s just that you also like drinking.

Given the choice, you are admittedly between a rock and a hard place.

Unless you’re a member of Home James, which can ensure that you maintain the highest standards for both safety and drunkenness at all times. Just follow a few simple instructions:

1. Become a member of Home James for a nominal fee.
2. Go out and get hammered.
3. Acknowledge that your sorry ass has absolutely no place getting behind the wheel.
4) Call 866-26-JAMES.

A driver in uniform (courtesy of Modern Amusement), who goes by the name of James (they all do), soon arrives on a scooter (to be stashed in your trunk), hoists you and your boozehound compadres into your car and drives you all back to the safety of your garage. Rates are determined by the mileage of your journey, starting at $30 for a five-mile trip. Not bad, considering it could save your life.

And your reputation as an uncompromising party animal.

Home James (866-26-JAMES, 213-620-0782); or online at homejamesusa.com.