If fashion is any indicator of sporty trends (see: Chanel surfboard, summer 2003), what’s a gal to make of the Dolce corsets and Versace lace-ups of ‘04? Gladiator aerobics? Not. All those strings and pulleys can only mean one thing.

Rock climbing is the new “It” sport.

Hold your harnesses. We found the man who can help you shed your fears and learn to hang boldly from any rock face. James deMalignon is a certified climbing, ropes course, and NOLS instructor whose coaching skills (and mesmerizing good looks) will have you wanting to climb whatever he’s climbing. James makes scaling a computerized climbing wall look like a walk in the park (or on a treadmill). His easy coaxing (and did we mention good looks?) will convince you to take a turn or two, and soon thereafter, you’ll have mastered the basics, exhausted muscles you didn’t know you had, and be ready for the great outdoors.

Next stop: rappelling at Malibu Creek State Park or Point Dume. You show up with your gear and lunch; James carries it to the top of the rock. (Beats hauling a surfboard any day.) With your M:I2-esque power and your newly defined pipes, you’ll want to buy yourself some shoulder-baring getup. Like, say, one of those strappy Gucci contraptions.

And keep a lookout for the Chanel chalk bag.

James deMalignon (310-717-4034) or e-mail jimidefive11c@yahoo.com.