That new spare tire isn’t anywhere near your car.

Time to post-holiday detox on a wellness minibreak.

C’est la Vie
Go about three hours north on the 101 and find nearly 200 wineries, 80 tasting rooms, and the new Dolphin Bay Hotel & Residences in Pismo Beach. Apartment-style suites are pimped with air-jet spa tubs, fireplaces, plasma screens, and Italian designer linens. Refresh with the Surf & Turf package: morning surf lessons, a chef-guided farmers’ market tour, an oceanside chef-prepped picnic, and a La Bonne Vie spa experience (2727 Shell Beach Rd., Pismo Beach; 805-773-4300 or thedolphinbay.com).

Pure Camp
Camp PSYC’s no loony bin. It’s the Palm Springs Yacht Club spa package. For four days/nights guests can relive sleepaway camp (sans bad food and cootie cabins), with horseback riding, hiking, and croquet. Grown-up to-do’s include yoga, exotic dance class, cocktail hour, and treatments like the detoxifying Creature from the Blue Lagoon body wrap or an herb-infused Soak-a-Vision bath. Ditch the spa menu for lobster mac ’n’ cheese (Parker Palm Springs, 4200 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs; 760-883-1979 or theparkerpalmsprings.com).

Seasons Greetings
The new Four Seasons Hotel Westlake Village might be close by, but the spa takes you to the Far East with waterfalls, River Kwai stones, rare orchids, and a reflecting pool with a Chinese footbridge. Together with the California WellBeing Institute, the spa’s three-day packages promote longevity, balanced living, women’s health, or rejuvenation. Can’t decide? They’ll test your DNA to highlight your body’s specific needs, then recommend a treatment dubbed Unity, Synergy, Purity, or Vitality (2 Dole Dr., Westlake Village; 818-575-3000 or fourseasons.com/westlakevillage).

Now that’s all well and good. (And pretty fun, too.)