A glimpse of the long-lost Bond treatment (revised by the fairer sex):

Scene IV

Original title: 
“Shooting Spree”
New title: 
“Shopping Spree”

Original synopsis: 007 and Scarlett Pasties zoom down a back alley via motorcycle, the one-eyed Russian hot on their tail. 007 downs the last of his martini and tosses the glass. Shards scatter; the Russian’s front tire explodes; 007 says, smirking, “I hate it when I spill my drink.”

New synopsis: 007 and Godiva Goodhair zoom through Paris on a Vespa, when Godiva eyes a dress by Franny in a boutique window. It has a charming red and navy diamond-check print, long sleeves that tie at the wrists, and a hemline that screams “wear me with go-go boots.” She slips it on, buys a similar style in black, and saunters out. The one-eyed Russian sees Godiva, loses control of his motorcycle, and runs into a mime.

Godiva says, smirking, “If looks could kill.”

Available at Jenna White, 7301 Southwest 57th Court, South Miami (305-669-5940 or jennawhitemiami.com).