According to the game of M.A.S.H., the day will come when you and your husband, Johnny Depp, live in a shack with your seven kids, sharing the keys to the family convertible. But first, a wedding.

P.A.P.R.
(Pressed. Artsy. Printed. Recycled.)
The multimedium ways of Tiny Pine Press are very inviting. Send out site-specific vintage postcard save-the-dates, opt for the Bold and Beautiful mix of drawings and set type, or let Yifat Oren and Jennifer Parsons start embossing and stitching away.

L.O.C.L.
(Living Room. Out of Town. Church. Loft.)
With an indoor/outdoor space and a green approach, private downtown loft Marvimon maxes out at 150 for a seated dinner. DIY officiants register at the Universal Life Church for nearly instant ordination. It’s free.

H.E.L.P.
(Headache. Earful. Law, In-. Planner.)
The week (or two) before your wedding, turn everything over to Resource Force. With Ria Lewerke and Stacy Earl’s music and entertainment backgrounds, you couldn’t possibly be the biggest ’zilla they’ve ever seen — plus, their Rolodex is packed with bands, DJs, and photographers.

F.R.O.C.
(Frilly. Ruched. Off the Rack. Couture.)
General manager Kadie Bilodeau can help you navigate Monique Lhuillier’s swanky new salon in West Hollywood. Bespoke too soon? Shop new and once-worn gowns at the Brides Against Breast Cancer fundraiser.

G.A.N.G.
(Gals. Alums. Nobody. Groomsmen.)
Have a ladies-only LeSpa day at Sofitel LA. Book seasonal hydrotherapy soaks and deluxe mani-pedis. Send the dudes out for the night on The Short Bus. It’s little, yellow, different — a lot like the painkillers they’ll need come sun up.

F.L.U.R.
(Florist. Landlord. U-Pick. Ralph’s.)
Call on floral artist Holly Vesecky to do your budding. Not your average flower girl, she favors monochromatic blooms and branches of young fruit paired with modern bases, burled wood, and antique vessels.

C.N.D.Y.
(Cake. Nougat. Doughnut. Yodels.)
Ask The Little Next Door’s new pasty chef, Michael Brock, for desserts tied together by color or ingredient. For nonsweet teeth, there’s Love Catering. Jonathan Darr, Jimmy Smith, and Hermes Clausz are a foodie trifecta cooking for parties of eight to 1,000.

P.O.M.P.
(Photos. Oversize Heads. Magic. Portraits.)
Send photos of your guests or attendants to Cayce Chambers Cole before the big day and she’ll cut traditional sihouettes (with fun accessories) to give out as thoughtful gifts. In return, they can write well wishes on biodegradable Chinese paper lanterns.

S.K.A.P.
(Saigon. Kalamazoo. Anguilla. Portugal.)
Portugal’s new Aquapura Douro Valley to be exact. Wine tastings, biking tours, and long lunches come with the territory; a balcony overlooking the river and a sneaky entrance to the Vale Abraao restaurant and bar come with the presidential suite.

So it’s the perfect place to reflect on your M.A.S.H. hit of a wedding.

Need more ideas? Check out the spring 2007 wedding guide.