You’ve never worried much about Slimers or Stay Puft marshmallow men.

Bisphenol-A lurking in the kitchen is what really freaks you out.

Who you gonna call? WoollyM. Guidance. The new ecoconsulting team devises less toxic, more sustainable solutions for your home, office, or everyday routine.

After surveying your sitch, they’ll hand over a summary of immediate adjustments (replacing trash bags, ditching certain cosmetics) or make the changes for you. If you want to get greener, ask about bigger projects like composting, rainwater catching, and earth-friendly construction.

Most important, they’re realistic: They won’t rip out the insulation in your rental, but they might suggest forgoing plastic wrap in favor of universal lids.

And maybe what they find in the pantry won’t be so bad at all.

You ain’t afraid of no toast.

WoollyM. Guidance (woollymguidance@gmail.com). For more information, go to askwoollym.typepad.com).