Online - September 17, 2008

Seat Envy

Travel Accessories

Hello, 18A. No, really, smash into me with that big-ass duffel as you cram your so-not-regulation rolly into the overhead. Who was asleep at security when you barreled through?

Hog the armrest. Not like I’m sardined between you and Tubbo in 18C or anything.

Hmm, whatcha got there? A silk blanket and pillow? Love the butterfly print. It’s spilling onto my legs, but that’s cool. It’s soooo soft.

Those slippers look comfy and that’s a very chic jump drive. Oh, but you are not using travel speakers. They’re cute as hell, but that’s seriously violating my space. What’s next, nail polish?

No, just a bottle of Barolo in a waterproof wine case. So illegal! (Does your dad own the TSA?) You must hate how you look in the overhead light, cuz you packed a flashlight to read your hipster guide book.

Off you go to the bathroom with your chrome toothbrush. Good lord, the toothpaste is already in the base.

I’m stealing everything while you’re gone.

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