Special delivery!

To the attention of the very honorable, quite distinguished, highly informed, upstanding citizen known as you:

The U.S. Constitution along with the 15th, 19th, and 26th Amendments cordially invite you to celebrate democracy by exercising your right to vote today, Tuesday, November 4, 2008, from 7 o’clock in the morning until 8 o’clock in the evening at a designated polling place near you.

Uproarious dancing in the streets and/or mournful sobbing to follow at various locations.

I Voted stickers required. Democrat and Republican party party hats* optional.

R.S.V.P. regrets only.

*To make your own party party hat, download the DailyCandy template, enlarge by 1.5, print, fold corners together to create cone shape, and staple or tape along seam. To wear this cap with pride, employ two bobby pins to secure to the top of your head in a jaunty way or affix two lengths of ribbon or string to either side of the base and tie under chin.