Captain’s Log Stardate 200913.1 After a thorough investigation of the FBE Spa star system, we have returned to standard orbit. The crew cannot stop talking about how good I look. Starfleet’s medical examiner suspects that it was the EOS 6600, a whole body vibration machine that delivers all the benefits of an hour workout in ten minutes (according to the Russian space program, anyway), and the detoxifying jade stone-lined infrared sauna pods that caused the jump in my overall health and hotness. A full-scale inquiry has been launched into FBE’s other holistic-tech training modalities, including the body composition analyzer; full-body air therapy compression suit; stress-reducing Quantum Biofeedback; multiple styles of therapeutic massage; and ultra-hydrating, free radical-battling, pH-balancing, ionized alkaline drinking water. Whatever the explanation, it’s out of this world. FBE Spa, 5858 Wilshire Boulevard, between South Stanley and South Spaulding Avenues, suite 200, Mid-Wilshire (323-936-3737 or fbespa.com). Mention DailyCandy when booking your first appointment and receive half off your day pass (a $50 value) through January 27.