Officer: Can you tell us a little bit about your attacker?
Lady: I … I … I guess so. It was leathery — no, pleathery — and studded, with mesh inserts and about three faux zippers.
Officer: Ma’am, was there a novelty cowboy hat involved?
Lady: Uh huh.
Officer: Alright, ma’am. I’m turning your case over to Degaine in our fashion victims unit.
Lady: Degaine? Like ’80s French slang for cool personal style?
Officer: Exactly, ma’am. Designer Gregory Abbou’s new line of cotton, cashmere, and denim essentials fights this type of crime every day. His collection grants access to boyfriend cardigans and drapey wrap sweaters; smartly cut tees, vest tanks, and T-shirt dresses; and skinny and slim bootcut jeans. Neutrals, classic washes, and cheery pastels offer color therapy for you and your closet.
Lady: Oh, I don’t know about all this.
Officer: Well, ma’am, you have nothing to lose and everything Degaine.
Available at Madison, 11677 San Vicente Boulevard, between Barrington and Darlington Avenues, Brentwood (310-820-2300 or madisonlosangeles.com); Mercado, 3517 West Sunset Boulevard, between Golden Gate and Maltman Avenues, Silver Lake (323-662-2600); online at revolveclothing.com.