Los Angeles - January 26, 2009

The Young and the Sudsless

Further Soap

Distraught, Melinda flings open the bathroom door.

You! I knew you’d be here.

Lunges at the sink and grabs Further Soap by its pump.

Look at you. I remember when you were nothing but the byproduct of Marshall and Megan Dostal’s biofuel production in a Pasadena garage, barely foaming, smelling like French fries and old hippies.

Crumples to the floor.

Now I barely recognize you. With your fancy FDA-approved lab; new formulation with rich ingredients; and that fresh, clean scent of light bergamot and olive created by some pro. Do you know what people are calling you? Luxurious!

Sobbing.

And when were you going to tell me about the waste-grease candles and lotions made with glycerin you’ve been working on? When were you going to tell me?

Wipes tears away and blows nose on sleeve.

Oh, just forget everything. You’ll never be a soap star!

Further’s label screams watch me.

Available online at furthersoap.com.

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