You’re too nice to be a Mean Girl, too lazy to join the fitness freaks and — according to a clipboard Nazi — not cool enough to get into Bungalow 8.

Looking for a club that will welcome you?

Anastasia Achilleos’s new Method Spa inside 21 — the Home House extension — opens today to members and nonmembers alike. As well as her signature bespoke facials and body treatments, the haven offers everything from Himalayan salt crystal rituals to acoustic wave therapy, which helps combat cellulite and muscle tension.

Also on hand are top-of-the-field beauty and wellness gurus such as Dr. Gowri Motha, L.A.-based hairdresser Tara Smith and intuitive therapist Katie Winterbourne.

We know what we’ll be trying first, but you can do as you please.

After all, you don’t have to join the club.

The Method Spa, Home House, 21 Portman Square, W1H 6LW (020 7670 2037) or homehouse.co.uk).