We’re on a boat, mofos.

Except this big, blue, watery road is the Hudson, and, instead of T-Pain, we’re cruising with the boys from Atlantic Yachting, a sailing outfit offering affordable lessons and charters right outta the West 79th Street Boat Basin.

In today’s video, sailors Logan and Jonathan — last names withheld to protect them from admirers — showed us the ropes (literally) as we made our way up to the George Washington Bridge.

Yes, the boys are both in need of a first mate.

And they run a seriously tight ship.

Atlantic Yachting, West 79th Street, at the Hudson River (212-518-4604 or atlanticyachting.com).