The Weekend Guide

the santaland diaries!

Kris Kringle, unedited.

The Santaland Diaries Continues
What: It’s your last chance to see the comical rant based on David Sedaris’s Holidays on Ice, in which he recounts his days working as Crumpet the Christmas elf at a Macy’s display.
Why: Snark meets Santa in this one-man show starring Michael McKeever.
When: Tonight & Fri., 7:30 p.m.
Where: Adrienne Arsht Center, 1300 Biscayne Blvd. Tickets ($35) at 305-949-6722 or online at arshtcenter.org.

The MatzoBall Returns
What: Be sure to tell bubbe you’re going to the nation’s largest Jewish night club gathering, where you’ll either meet a nice boy or drink and dance Christmas Eve away with your best friend. Win-win.
Why: It’s 1,000 marriages deep and one heck of a bash.
When: Sat., 8 p.m.-2 a.m.
Where: Liv, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Info at 561-994-2516. Tickets ($30) online at matzoball.wantickets.com.

Zerran RealLisse Vegan Hair-Smoothing System
What: Salon Vaso makes history as the first salon in Florida to offer the formaldehyde-free, 100 percent vegan Keratin treatment.
Why: So safe it’s even approved for preggos.
When: Sun. & Mon., by appt.; Tues.-Fri., 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 1500 Alton Rd., 2nd flr., Miami Beach (305-674-7470).

Christmas Eve Dinner at Edge Steak & Bar

What: Skip cooking and cleaning this year in favor of a four-course, prix fixe dinner at the new Four Seasons Miami Hotel restaurant.
Why: Winter pumpkin bisque, crispy pork belly, and duck confit with foraged mushroom strudel.
When: Sat., 6:30 p.m.
Where: 1435 Brickell Ave., Brickell. Reservations (required) to 305-381-3190.

Mia Launches Ecommerce
Fulfill late-night accessory binges at the local jewelry spot’s new online shop.
Why: Save 15 percent on purchases (including brands like Alexis Bittar and Satya) when you use the code DCmia at checkout thru Dec. 31.
When: You need a little something to make you sparkle, but you’re too lazy to leave the house.
Where: Online at miajewels.com.

Photo: Design Pics / Christine Giles / Getty Images

4441 Collins Ave
in the Fontainebleau
Miami Beach, FL 33140
1435 Brickell Ave
Miami, FL 33131
1500 Alton Rd
2nd flr
Miami Beach, FL 33139
1300 Biscayne Blvd
Miami, FL 33132