Sam: Well, Frodo, you said you didn’t want to go anywhere with mountains or volcanoes, so here we are on South Beach. What do you want to do?
Frodo: Let’s check out that new lounge, Mokai. It opens tonight, and I heard it’s named after the canyon that movie about us was filmed in.
Sam: We came all the way to Miami to hang out in the Shire? I was looking forward to being waist-high to some lovely Latinas.
Frodo: Don’t you worry about that. This place is the brainchild of the guys behind Mynt, where there were so many ladies dancing on tables you risked getting a stiletto in your saketini.
Sam: I do like my martinis shaken and stirred. What do they have to eat? You know I always have an appetite after a lively jig.
Frodo: The kitchen is open ’til 5 a.m., and they serve mini cheeseburgers, grilled cheese, spaghetti …
Sam: Mmm, takes me back to my days at Hobbitville Elementary School. Except I’ll be drinking vodka.
Frodo: Pace yourself, Sam. One too many and you start looking like Gollum.
Sam: He’s not coming tonight, is he? Dude really brings me down.
Frodo: No kidding. That guy repels the babes like my Old Stench of Mordor cologne.
Mokai, 235 23rd Street, Miami Beach (305-531-4166 or mokaimiami.com).