Fabric by NASA. Stitching by Tibetan monks. Metal fixtures from a WWII plane. You’ve got more denim in your closet than Walker, Texas Ranger, but (you insist) there’s a story behind every pair.

Too bad your acid wash anecdotes always seem to end in tragedy (as in the back of your closet, never to be seen again). Maybe you just haven’t found the right setting.

Might we suggest Southern California? Surfer dudes/punk rockers David Horn and Bill Beasley are the creators of Horn jeans and made sure plenty of the Pacific Coast culture went into their collection.

Their signature is the dark denim five-pocket with “front-leg stitching that lends the jean a tailored crease.” The skinny jeans come in black, white, indigo, gray, red, and yellow, with a crown-wearing skull (really, it’s subtle) embroidered on each back pocket — this just might be the pair you’ll squeeze into ’til the butt wears out.

So much for your happy ending.

Available at Street Couture, 524 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach (305-538-8262); online at lisakline.com.