Dear Lieutenant Mandals, There has been a slight blunder in your orders to the court. The good news is, in your absence, we received your request for a new bastion. The bad news is the order was assigned to Lady Sparkleplenty, who misinterpreted your wishes and ordered a trunkful of Bastion jewelry instead. We knew something was awry when Miami-based sculptor and designer Ramona Boucher arrived with her collection (she gladly hosts private trunk shows), inspired by her travels around the world. The ladies went especially ga-ga for her rings, which are indeed works of art. Baroness von Bedunkadunk fell instantly in love with the gold stallion wrapped around a heart-shaped stone, while Duchess Ladylumps was positively smitten with the gold deer, whose antlers are holding an upside-down gem. Although this Bastion won’t scare away enemies, it will, with all certainty, stop them in their tracks. Affectionately, Lord Babydaddy Available by e-mail order (firstname.lastname@example.org).