August 1, 2007

Cool Rubbings

The Loews Elemis Spa Opens

British transplant seeking South Beach sweetie for quality face time, hopefully more.

Not looking for another pretty mug, although you might come out of this relationship feeling like one (tri-enzyme resurfacing and hydralift facials are par for the course), or just a warm body, although yours will most likely feel anything but cold (a Hawaiian four-hand massage and coconut rub and milk ritual wrap will make sure of that).

Must also enjoy spending time in the buff (or close to it), be comfortable with your flaws (we’ve all got a few) — but be open to correcting them (cellulite treatments, teeth whitening, eyelash extensions, don’t be shy) — and into healthy eating (we’ll nosh from the low-cal menu by Emeril).

Who knows what the future holds — perhaps a Passion in the City package for two; and together we can share aroma stone therapy, personal yoga instruction, facials, strawberries and champagne, and a sensuality kit.

No pressure.

Unless, of course, that’s the way you like it.

Elemis Spa, inside the Loews Miami Beach Hotel, 1601 Collins Avenue (305-695-3400 or loewshotels.com).