And now, a DailyCandy exclusive with the Ornamentation Firm of Bells and Whistles.
Bells: Don’t forget the Happy Meal. That was us.
DC: What of the rumors of a rift with Help, the new line of minimalist, gimmick-free first aid?
Bells: We pitched great ideas — SpongeBob acetaminophen pills, scratch-and-sniff bandages — but no dice. Some BS about how people want great products without all the — well, you know.
DC: Yes. And they donate 5 percent of profits to insuring the uninsured.
Whistles: Whatevs. I did take one for a headache yesterday, and it worked.
DC: So you’ll continue using their products?
Whistles: Hells, yeah. It’s an election year.
Bells: We need all the help we can get.
Available online at helpineedhelp.com.