Knockers on Heaven’s Door

You see lots of different styles on the beach.

Big. Little. Pointy. Round. Ones that go to the side because the chick bought them at Jugs “R” Us.

With so many varieties, why should you have to pick just one? Now, with InflataBoobs, you don’t.

Modeled after Reebok Pump sneakers, the nifty new implants can inflate or deflate according to whim.

The fake melons are just as easy to install as your run-of-the-mill, static variety. Made with a safe silicone shell, they work with a hidden button on the underside of your bazoombas. One pump boosts you up half a size; two pumps and you’ve got cleavage.

Want to slink around with baby hooters (a la Kate Beckinsale)? Release the pump to deflate. Does your plunging neckline beg for Ds? Give your tits a puff.

Plus, the InflataBoobs fill with all-natural air.

So they’re all styles, no substance.

For more information, go to inflataboobs.com.