Simone, it’s Mom. Are you getting my messages? Where should we go for Dad’s birthday dinner? I know it’s not till November, but I want to make reservations now, considering what happened last year. I’m not saying it was your fault, but your brother was there on time. Simone, it’s Lloyd. Mom’s stalking me about Dad’s birthday. Get SpinVox! It’s a service that converts your cell phone voice mails to text. The robot computer thingie listens to your messages and sends them to you via e-mail or text. It can even post them on your Facebook wall (though that’s risky with your skanky booty calls). Anyhow, you can read Mom’s seven messages in seconds. And call her! She’s having a meltdown. Hi, Mom, it’s Simone. Got your messages. Joe’s sounds super. And, of course, 4:30 is a totally reasonable time for dinner. See you then. Available online at spinvox.com.