This meeting of the Swarovski Crystal Union is called to order. Folks, it’s bleak out there. Bling is disappearing. We’re even losing our stronghold in Miami.

[Audible gasps.]

Calm down, people. We have a plan. It’s Zoe NYC, a line of ultra-fabulous swimwear. The bikinis come in black, white, and gray and are hand-embellished with amethysts, stones, and Swarovski crystals.

[Cheers.]

The Matilda top is completely covered with gems, while the Jada has a row of glitzy gold and silver beads. There’s also the Rosella, a delicate white bandeau with hand-appliqued black flowers. The high-quality suits are made in Italy of incredibly soft microfiber and crafted with a seamless double fabric, so they lay flat and don’t stretch out.

[Sighs of relief.]

Now that that’s settled, let’s move on to plans for the crystal ball.

Available at Boheme, 959 West Avenue, suite 5, South Beach (305-531-9595). To see styles, go to zoenyc.com.