Nookie, PDA, and canoodling? That’s just crazy talk. Try Nuk, PTA, and can-you-make-me-some-noodles-mom?Sounds like someone should check out the steamy Hotel Victor packages created just for DailyCandy Kids readers.The standard getaway includes a room with a jacuzzi for two, massages at Spa V, champagne in the spa’s cool-down room (think bed + curtains = privacy), and a special dinner menu at Vix (soft-shell crab tempura, seafood hot pot, basted center-cut filet, and peaches ’n’ cream shortcake).Take it up a notch (ask for the platinum package) with an ocean-view suite and revealing body scrubs during your his and hers rubdowns.No one to watch the kids? The Day Escape offers four hours of nanny service for two munchkins, body scrubs, massages, champers, and the option of dinner.Now you’re talking.Available at Hotel Victor, 1144 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach (305-233-1234 or hotelvictorsouthbeach.com).Photo: Courtesy of Hotel VictorMULTITASKLunch and LearnWhat: A workshop on parenting in stressful times, with an introduction to mindfulness-based stress reduction by guest speaker Valerie York-Zimmerman.Why: It’s free advice.When: Thurs., noon-1 p.m.Where: Informed Families/The Florida Family Partnership, 2490 Coral Way, 2nd flr. (305-856-4886). E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org to R.S.V.P. and order a $10 box lunch.SWITCHFrom Fast Food BurgersWhat: Kids’ menu (mini burgers or an all-beef hot dog) includes fries, drink, and a scoop of ice cream from the old-fashioned sundae bar.Why: Everything’s homemade and made to order.When: Sun.-Thurs., noon-1 a.m.; Fri. & Sat., noon-2 a.m.Where: Burger & Beer Joint, 1766 Bay Rd., Miami Beach (305-672-3287).ATTENDRed Grammer Children’s Halloween Concert What: The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter performs an hour of his playful, catchy music, followed by a party.Why: It’s Grammer time.When: Sun., 3 p.m. Where: Frost School of Music, Gusman Concert Hall, 1314 Miller Dr., Coral Gables (305-284-4940).