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License to Grille

Prime Blue Grille,
You saw Miami alone,
Without a steakhouse downtown,
No men’s club vibe, you’re no clone.

Blue Grille,
You knew just what I was there for,
(all-natural, hormone-free prime beef)
You heard me saying a prayer for,
(wood-grilled, ...

Let’s Make a Meal

Should your electricity go out in the dead of winter (which we’re sure you’re concerned about now that it’s almost July and kilnish outside), you take comfort in the fact that you have enough take-out menus to either a) keep ...

The Things She Carried

Dear Cleadus,

Miami sure does give new meaning to the phrase “Southern hospitality.”

When your little buttermilk biscuit was leaving the beach, a nice young woman (who was wearing less clothes than your cousin after a shift at the Double ...

Nice to Meat You

Junior: Hey, Grimpa, tell me again about being a Brazilian gaucho.

Grimpa: Ah, good times, good times. It was like being a cowboy, but with better pants. We herded cattle. We skewered steaks on Araucaria tree branches and cooked them ...

Closet Encounters

The last time you were scared to go into your closet, Drew Barrymore had just found a wrinkly brown alien in hers.

You’re getting hanger heebie-jeebies once again, but this time it’s because of what’s not in your walk-in: anything remotely ...

You Down with JC?

Your spicy tongue has been known to get you into trouble. 

Case in point: last week’s eleven-item showdown in the express lane. (Really. Multiples don’t count.)

What can you say? You enjoy playing with fire. So does Joanne Chong, who ...

Hip Pop Hooray

Engine grease is his idea of cologne. He knows how to use a miter saw. And he always (always) orders a dish that requires gnawing. Chew on this Father’s Day recipe from Ola Restaurant’s chef Douglas Rodriguez. He’s ...

Flat Lands

London Sole calling to Miami Beach.
Now they’re open, and the boutique loves feet.
London Sole calling to Ocean Drive.
Step out of your platforms, circulation’s deprived.
London Sole calling, don’t crunch your toes.
Cozy ballet flats, cure blister woes.