You (in ’94): School’s a waste. I’ll never use calculus or computers. I just want to chill and jam with my band.

You (today): I wish those freaking kids would lower their dang iPods so I could focus on my ...

Underwires, padding, water balloons, those rubbery chicken cutlets. You like a lot of support.

So when someone you know goes for the “real” deal (Nip/Tuck-style), stand by your friend with Lift Me Up Cards.

The collection of ...

Prepare the ides of March.

GIVE
Operation Smile
What: The do-good group that treats children with facial deformities launches in Miami with a swanky shindig to benefit the cause.
Why: Turn that frown upside down.
When: Thurs, 8 p.m.

Your treatment for anxiety is a bath and a session with Dr. Cabernet. For you, therapy has always been a DIY affair.

Until it came to your eyebrows, where self-analysis revealed an unfinished Mrs. Potato Head.

Leave your eyes to ...

Generally speaking, you’re not a fan of teamwork.

Not after Maria from sales claimed that the Tinkle Sprinkle Honor System was her idea.

But you’ll sing a different tune after visiting Luminaire X, the new pop-up shop in the Design ...

This weekend, be a total party animal.

PET
Feast with the Beasts
What: Walk the pathways of the Miami Metrozoo and discover gourmet grub, cocktails, musicians, and wild animals at every turn.
Why: Proceeds benefit the Zoological Society of Florida.
When: Fri., ...

Dear Spot,

I was bummed that you didn’t call after we hung out (with all the butt sniffing I thought we had a bond).

Then Mom and Pops packed up and I freaked: not another week with Grams and Bob ...