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entertainment

Getting Off Telemarketing Lists


Saturday morning. The phone rings.

(Right as you are peacefully lingering around the apartment, drinking coffee, sorting mail, ignoring the heap of dishes in the sink…)

Who could it be? Maybe it’s your date from last night?

And then… it hits you.

“Hello? My name is Miss Watson. I’m calling on behalf of Citibank Visa…”

No, you didn’t max out your credit line. Your card was not stolen. You are in telemarketer hell.

Option 1: Hang up.
Option 2: Hang up. Press *69. Repeatedly.
Option 3: Grill Miss Watson on the differences between NPR, MFP, the NRA, and WAP technology.
Option 4: Start speaking a foreign language. Or simply “meow” into the receiver.
Option 5: Our favorite new discovery: Get your name the heck off those lists. Register with the Telephone Preference Service of the Direct Marketing Association to be removed from calling lists.