If Justin Bieber and Jonathan Safran Foer had a baby, they would call it Jonny Valentine. Or, more specifically, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, new on shelves this week.
[To the tune of JB’s hit, “Baby”]
My name is Jonny; I’m just a lad
I’m making money, but miss my dad
I’m playin’ Zenon; it’s pretty grand
My mom fired my coach and my opening band
We’re on a tour bus, from town to town
I’m checkin’ email, when it’s around
I’m getting boners and thinkin’ ’bout girls
I am just 11; that’s my whole world
And now I’m like
Read it, read it, read it oooh
You’ll love it, love it, love it oooh
It’s candy, candy, candy oooh
I think you’ll thank me sometime (time).
Available at amazon.com, $14.
Photo: Courtesy of Free Press