After seaweed salad lunch meetings, that strange rash, and prayers to Her, your hang-up with hippie health gurus is understandable.

Hold the phone (literally): S.W. Basics now offers one-hour holistic health coaching calls.

Back in the day, wellness guidance was the sprouted bread and chia seed butter of S.W. Basics founder Adina Grigore’s business. The Brooklyn-based holistic nutritionist now focuses on skin care products but created the phone-in service to retap those roots.

Before you dial, create a list of concerns. Suggested topics include skin, general health, diet, exercise, and your deepest hopes and dreams. Once on the yapper, a certified holistic health coach answers your questions, figures out what ails you, and sets you on a healthy path.

Sessions cost 60 bucks plus constructive feedback (they’re in beta), and coaches won’t push products or extreme regimens — just a balanced, custom plan.

If they’re not able to find a solution (they’re not doctors), they’ll hook you up with a professional who can.

Sounds like a good call.

Available at swbasicsofbk.com.

Photo: Image Source / Getty Images