New York - June 10, 2002

Love Me Do

Love Handle Cream

You’ve lovingly accepted just about everything about him: the toilet seat up, the clothes strewn about, the cereal bowl in the sink, the absolute refusal to ask for directions…

But there, lurking right below the ribs, above the bum, is the potential deal breaker: the love handles.

Face it. There’s nothing lovable about them. The rocket scientists at Nickel Spa say it’s male cellulite. And because it’s different from the girls’ garden variety in cell structure, the treatment options aren’t the same.

Hence the newest product targeted at battling the bulge. No, it’s not the Abdominizer. It’s Love Handles, a cream that purports to melt the stuff away. (The fine print: in combination with diet and exercise, of course.) The active ingredients are pineapple enzyme, essence of — we’re not making this up — “the carnivorous plant drosera,” and caffeine. There’s also papaya, menthol, and wheat protein thrown in for kicks. Tasty as it all sounds, you apply it, um, topically.

Skeptical? Oh, just a touch. Try it anyway? Absolutely. Just tell him it’s massage cream.

Available online at nickelformen.com; or by phone at 888-642-8289.