Were you a goody-goody teenager? You know, keeping curfew, getting into Yale early, keeping study-hall drug use to a minimum?

Sucker.

Don’t feel bad. We were pretty geeky too.

Not so Igby, the malcontent hero of Igby Goes Down, which opens today in New York and Los Angeles. Played by Kieran Culkin (how many damn Culkin brothers are there?), Igby is a modern-day Holden Caulfield, a preppy New York kid with all the prerequisite privilege and anger — and high-spirited high jinks to match.

The movie is hip and perfect on every level, from the whip-crack dialogue (“How many Vassar professors and intellectual theologians beget nymphomaniacal, pseudo-bohemian JAPs?”) to the white-hot cast, which includes Claire Danes (the aloof love object), Ryan Phillippe (the mogul-in-training), Amanda Peet (the heroin’d trophy mistress), and Susan Sarandon (the absentee WASP mother-from-hell). Even Jeff Goldblum, as the Trump-like godfather, is too cool for school. (When was the last time that happened?)

In short, Igby is the rebel you weren’t. (And could no way have handled being.)

Igby Goes Down opens in New York and Los Angeles today. Get tickets online at moviefone.com.