It’s finally getting warm! D’oh, not! (Mother Nature, you blow.) Here are some diversions to take your mind off our schizo weather.

EAT

Cream Puffs
What: The cult Japanese chain Beard Papa Sweets Cafe just opened its first NYC shop.
Why: Bagels of the city, say hello to the competition.
When: Daily, 10 a.m.-8 p.m.
Where: 2167 Broadway, at 76th St. (212-799-3770).

Bianca
What: New-ish quaint Italian spot, serving delicious (and cheap) fare.
Why: Winter’s bite is back and you could use some comfort food (like gnocchi con formaggio for $9).
When: Dinner served 5 p.m.-11 p.m.
Where: 5 Bleecker St., b/t Bowery and Elizabeth St. (212-260-4666).

BUY

Cheapest Bottled Water You’ll Ever Find
What: Whole Foods’ private-label water is only 69 cents for 1.5 liters.
Why: All the hype about the damn Time Warner Center and everyone missed the real story. Buy it by the case.
When: Right before you tell the local deli (which charges three bucks a pop) to bugger off.
Where: Whole Foods, Time Warner Center, 10 Columbus Circle, at 60th St. (212-823-9600).

Cantaloup Sale
What: Up to 70 percent off cute fall and spring merch from Sass & Bide, Miguelina, Cacharel …
Why: It’s a sale! Do you need to ask why? (Why it’s being held in a nightclub is what we want to know.)
When: Thurs. & Fri., noon-6 p.m.; Sat., noon-5 p.m.
Where: Nocturne, 144 Bleecker St., b/t LaGuardia Pl. and Thompson St. (212-249-3566).

Frette Sample Sale
What: Luxe finery for bed and home at up to 75 percent off retail.
Why: It’s not just your bed. It’s your shrine. (Maybe a proper set of sheets will get you off the Ambien?)
When: Thurs., 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Fri., 9 a.m.-2 p.m.
Where: 4 W. 58th St., b/t Fifth and Sixth Aves., ninth fl. (732-539-8750).

DO

Architectural Digest Home Design Show
What: Scope new products, attend seminars, and see models from the Houses of Sagaponac project.
Why: When was the last time you showed up your design-snob pals?
When: Fri.-Sun., 10 a.m.-7 p.m.
Where: Pier 94, Twelfth Ave., at 55th St. (866-468-7619).

City Harvest
What: Volunteer to deliver leftovers to the hungry.
Why: Time to give back, bub. Plus you get to peep into the world of fancy restos after hours and ride in a truck — all for a good cause.
When: Anytime.
Where: Visit cityharvest.org to find the opportunities in your ‘hood.

SEE

Jeff Bridges: Pictures
What: Jeff Bridges’ photos of life on the set.
Why: Who knew the Dude was as good behind the lens as he is in front of it?
When: Through Apr. 24, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: Ariel Meyerowitz Gallery, 120 Eleventh Ave., b/t 20th and 21st Sts. (212-414-2770).

Scope New York
What: The international art fair lands in NYC. Emerging artists, discussions (“The Art of Collecting”), short films, hotel rooms transformed into galleries, and a Friday-night after-party.
Why: Art-world trendoids! A chance to check out the Hotel Gansevoort before it opens!
When: Fri.-Mon. See the schedule for programs.
Where: Hotel Gansevoort, Ninth Ave., at 13th St. (212-268-1522).

Yeardley Smith: More
What: An autobiographical dramedy from the voice of Lisa on The Simpsons.
Why: Because she’s got problems. You’ve got ’em too, but isn’t it more fun to think about hers?
When: In previews; opens Mar. 22.
Where: Union Square Theatre, 100 E. 17th St., at Park Ave. S. Tickets available through ticketmaster.com (212-307-7171).