New York - May 10, 2005

Bringing Up the Rear

Bottom Reformulator

Sure, you’ve been sitting on your ass all day. Why should anyone give you a hard time about it?

After all, you’ve been testing the Bottom Reformulator, a fascinating new invention that promises to “do wonders for your world.” Not to mention your rear.

Designed by a team of Taiwanese surgeons, the “memory-foam cushion” claims to reshape, curve, tone, and tighten your behind in just 90 days. Without any side effects. (Though we’d love to imagine what those would be.)

Does it work? We have no idea. But according to the manufacturer, it’s been “vigorously tested” and can help you attain “that starlet figure” you’ve been dreaming of. (Between dreams of fame, fortune, and private Bora Bora beaches.)

So go ahead and park yourself on your couch, your office chair, or your favorite barstool.

If anyone gives you flack, just tell them to sit on it.

Available online at gadgetuniverse.com.