Mother and daughter stroll the beach at dusk. Mom wears pleated khakis with a powder blue L.L. Bean crewneck. Daughter’s jeans are rolled; she nervously digs sand with her toes.

Daughter: Mom, do you ever get that … not-so-fresh feeling?

Mom: But of course!

Daughter: So how do you deal with it?

Mom: Four words: Put. The. Douche. Down. And pick up a pair of scented panties by Melon.

Daughter: (shocked) Scented panties?

Mom: Yes, dear. Every woman wants to feel fresh and clean. Melons have an all-natural powder-fresh scent that lasts for up to fifteen washes. They’re also seamless, so you can’t see them underneath those tight little things you insist on wearing.

Daughter: (brightening) Oh! I’m ordering the thong!

Mom: (sighing) Ah, youth. It’s the full-back panty for me — extra material.

Daughter: Thanks, Mom!

Mom: Sure thing, honey. Now let’s forget we ever had this conversation.

Cue Kenny G. Fade to black.

Available online at melonfashion.com