Irritable Vows

You swore you’d be a calm bride-to-be. No obsessive-compulsive behavior, emotional breakdowns, or confrontations with the new in-laws.

So why are things like seating charts and playlists turning you psycho? Sounds like it’s time to brush up on some pre-wedding vows. Like the pledge that you won’t allow the planning to outshine the importance of your day. (And remember, silly, it’s about the marriage, not the wedding.) Time to rekindle your vows.

Vow No. 1 — Free Wedding Consultation
I, (name), take you, Fete, to be my trusted resource, for referring vendors and talent that best fit my budget and aesthetic. Your free consultation service isn’t just another industry rip-off (419 Park Avenue South; 212-725-7268).

Vow No. 2 — Florist
I, (name), give you, Wolfgang Thom, the freedom to create bold and exquisite floral arrangements for my wedding. With events like the CFDA Awards Gala and Vivienne Westwood show under your belt, you have way more style know-how than I do (227 West 29th Street; 212-279-9066).

Vow No. 3 — Day-of Wedding Coordinator
On (month, day, year), the day of my wedding, I, (name), will hire a coordinator from 4PM Events to take over and be as anal-retentive as need be with vendors, members of the bridal party, and everyone else to ensure my day is perfect — or very close (212-631-7777; brides@4pmevents.com).

Vow No. 4 — Invitations
Together with Margaret Danek Jones of Tiger & Jones, I, (name), will be cordial about designing paper products. I promise not to deter her from offering her trademark combinations of 18-karat gold or sterling silver plates, hand-dyed silk ties, letterpress printing, and other labor-intensive touches to other brides (805-659-0049; info@tigerandjones.com).

Vow No. 5 — Bakers
At the reception, I, (name), am going to celebrate the end of this crazy diet with a custom, colorful, and delicious cookie platter by Milk & Cookies (19 Commerce Street; 212-243-1640).

Vow No. 6 — Caterers
With this check, I, (name), know Sonnier & Castle will not serve dishes that give my guests food poisoning. Their client roster ranges from Saks Fifth Avenue to film studios, ensuring stunning presentations and happy bellies (532 West 46th Street; 212-957-6481).

Vow No. 7 — The Gown
I, (name), realize that poofy sleeves and ruffles aren’t the only fashions offered to brides. There will be no last-minute dress doubts, because I’ll pay a visit to Carlos Miele to get one of his romantic gowns specially made in white (408 West 14th Street; 646-336-6642). For true couture style, I’ll try Evalina Schmidtke, whose dresses are not only slamming but made to measure (Bergdorf Goodman Bridal Salon, 754 Fifth Avenue; 212-872-8957). And I promise to carry my own with the latest custom bridal bag by Lauren Merkin.

Vow No. 8 — The Bridesmaids
I, (name), respect the members of my bridal party and will send them to Banico to customize their own flattering frocks — in the color of my choice (279 Houston Street; 212-254-0203) or Thread (26 West 17th Street, suite 301; 212-414-8844). The sweetest touch? A go-go garment bag with their first initial. To really get them excited, I’ll throw in a cool flask.

Vow No. 9 — Photographer and Videographer
I, (name), give thee, Missy McLamb, permission to photograph me and other aspects of my wedding (866-755-1117; mc@missymclamb.com). More importantly, I will not get lazy about ordering pictures, because I want to have a sleek, coffee table-book style wedding album by Mac & Cheese Design (212-873-2330; info@macandcheesedesign.com).

Vow No. 10 — Music
I, (name), will not rush from the ceremony to the reception, because jazz musician Danny Mixon will entertain the crowd during cocktails (212-636-9262; dannymixon@netscape.net).

Vow No. 11 — Favors
I, (name), know that enduring the ceremony, dinner, speeches, and first dance can get a bit boring. So I promise to throw some yo-yos in a pretty box by The Welcome Bag Company.