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entertainment

Sweet Nothings

Love letter, draft 1:
Your lips are like roses; your eyes, stars. You taste like cheese, the kind you put on nachos. I want to devour you.

Draft 2:
I love you like sunshine, draft beer, and breasts. Big breasts.

Draft 3:
I feel so close to you. You remind me of my mother. Can we have sex soon?

Another amorous missive, another sabotaged relationship. Sure, it’s the thought that counts. But good execution don’t hurt.

So before you put your foot in your mouth, put the smart, articulate people at LetterLover in charge of your correspondence. Whether you’re looking to send words of inspiration, notes of admiration, breakup, rant, or apologize, LetterLover makes it happen for roughly a quarter a word.

All you have to do is fill out a form and answer some questions. They’ll craft a sentiment you could only dream of. Relay said message to your ex/lover/boss/neighbor and let the healing/loving/flirting begin. All of your info remains confidential. Which means as long as you don’t spill the beans, no one will ever find out about your lackluster writing skills.

And you’ll never again leave others speechless.


Available online at letterlover.net.