(Warning: The following item may not be suitable for all audiences because of adult language, scatological topics, and sexual situations.)
You’re, of course, way too mature for bathroom humor. But you still snarf milk when you think about lightning farts, giant wedgies, and the Dirty Sanchez.
And now toilet paper has gone off color. Renova, the Portuguese paper company that introduced sleek, black T.P. in NYC clubs and lounges, makes rolls in other shades, too. Like orange and black — just in time for Halloween.
The soft, toxin-free tissue is sold in three-pack canisters or six packs and is the perfect substitute for those dollar bills you’ve been using. Creative, delinquent minds can use it for vandalism (a.k.a. yard rolling) or as an alternative to party streamers.
At the very least, it makes good fodder for shooting the shit.
Just watch your potty mouth.
Available online at renovacolors.com.