Holidays at her house = Coney Island circus sideshow. But you’d light yourself on fire for that girl, so grab the torch and get a move on.

Burlesquing in this weather? Shimmying will do only so much. Karen Walker’s alpine beret will keep the heat from escaping her head. Store singles and change in a recycled leather piggy bank.

Outfit her with a Marchand de Legumes talking watch before her next disappearing act. It tells time aloud in English, Japanese, and German.

Wily snake charmers can put down the punji and pick up a Numark portable turntable, a great record player for newbies (plus it’s battery operated and has a built-in speaker). Do a little mesmerizing of your own with mood lighting.

Even contortionists need to unwind. Get the kinks out with a Giftybox — she chooses things like spa treatments and outdoor adventures around the country — to redeem between acts.

New mommies? Ta-da: What appears to be an ordinary mitten is actually a mitten-within-a-mitten (for keeping mini fingers warm while holding hands). Ooh. Ahh.

And now, for her next trick, a new hobby. Kinokuniya stocks a dizzying array of wooden toys, Japanese folding papers, Manga figurines, and calligraphy sets (1071 Sixth Avenue; 212-869-1700). Castanet scissors will help your bondage girl cut loose.

Don’t let your champion hot dog eater choke. Wish her the best with the Good Luck Kit — including a ceramic mug that’s meant to be smashed to pieces. The art objet is flying off the shelves at the new New Museum gift shop (235 Bowery; 212-219-1222).

Her reaction? The greatest show on earth.

Moving through the shopping season like the Cyclone? Shop on here.