New York - January 07, 2008

Oh, Rats

Feel Better Already Guide ’08

It’s the Year of the Rat, meaning good health and prosperity for the Sagittarius.

The rest of you are screwed. So you’ll have to take matters into your own hands, head, and hardened arteries.

You’re No Gym Rat
Flip the bird at this blasted wind and channel garden parties with badminton sessions. It’s the sport du jour, as it allows the boys to utilize all the tight shorts they bought last summer. Take the edge off an extra-long workday with a Korean-style scrub down at a late-night holistic center complete with healing igloos.

Beat the Rat Race
Do something to garner effusive praise from your peers. Hone a random skill (juggling fruit), learn a magic trick, and carry dice/whistles/cards in your pocket so as to bring the party with you (wherever you go).

Say Cheese?
Brush up on molecular gastronomy or at least experiment in the kitchen. Consider eating food, not food-like substances (then discuss the merits of Pinkberry).

Give a Rat’s Ass
Turn old cell phones into calling cards for soldiers abroad. Turn Con Ed bills into trees with the e-bill program. Turn hostility into hugs (free of charge on January 20).

Don’t be mousy. Open up those arms real wide.

  Wellness