We are gathered here today in memorium of the cassette tape. Not to mourn the loss of adrenaline-infused road trip mixes or personalized, romantic soundtracks for old crushes. But to celebrate the digital upgrade! Because, brothers and sisters, life goes on with the Mix Tape USB Stick. Open up your minds and revel in the retro casing! Behold the track-list record sheet included for your creative scribbles (“Basement Make Out Tunes!!”; “Party Songs Summer ’94”). Break out your Hi-Lighters and rejoice. New Valentine crushes will adore the thoughtful, customized gift. Your sister will forgive you for warping her “Funkmaster Flex Presents Vol 1: Sixty Minutes of Funk.” It’s double sided. It has crucial retro flair. There is space for one hour of high-quality digital music, be it artful ballads or guilty pleasures. Because nestled in the heart of the cassette is the USB stick. The beloved artifact of yester-decade is saved. And the beat goes on. Available online at fredflare.com.