Bartender! Pour that Joe Average a stiff buck. He’s having a long, hard night and wants to keep it that way.
Me? Everything’s copacetic. In the mood to get splifficated, zozzled, fried to the hat. A Highland Smash to celebrate the opening of Clover Club!
This new Julie Reiner (Flatiron Lounge) place is spiffy. Back parlor’s the berries. Oh, it’s reserved? I’ll plunk down my lettuce at the bar for a shot of panther sweat. How ’bout a bite with this giggle water? Oysters, glazed chicken wings, caviar shrimp toast.
Did you see that ritzy dame before? Everything seemed hotsy-totsy ’til her hard-boiled torpedo offered to take me for a ride. I offered them Pimm’s punch, got in a brawl, and got the bum’s rush. Hell. Who wants to get stuck on a quiff while hopped up on the hooch?
Whaddayamean, you don’t understand?
Just trying to speak easy.
Clover Club, 210 Smith Street, between Baltic and Butler Streets, Cobble Hill (718-855-7939).
Photo: Courtesy of Clover Club