Break a world record (see: steroid use, bribery, blackmail).
SPORT
24-Hour Olympic Happening
What: Celebrate the games with ’round-the-clock broadcasts, jeering, cheering, tacos, and designer kiosks with souvenirs made for the occasion.
Why: Practice your anthem.
When: Fri., 11 a.m.-Sun., 7 p.m.
Where: (The appropriately named) Opening Ceremony, 35 Howard St., b/t Crosby St. & Broadway (212-219-2688).
QUENCH
Lemonade Stand
What: The Lower Eastside Girl’s Club teams up with Earnest Sewn and taps into nostalgia.
Why: Summery beverage and baked good sales benefit the local org.
When: Sat. & Sun., noon-6 p.m.
Where: 90 Orchard St., at Broome St.
THINK
Michael Pollan Lecture
What: The man who speaks in defense of food takes the plant’s point of view.
Why: Ponder any omnivore’s dilemma under the garden canopy built in the courtyard.
When: Fri., 7 p.m.
Where: P.S. 1 MoMA, 22-25 Jackson Ave., at 46th Ave., LIC (718-784-2084).
BUY
Shop Relocates
What: The pioneering LES boutique moves down the street and expands for guys.
Why: While in the nabe, stop by TG-170’s mega sale.
When: Daily, noon-7:30 p.m.
Where: 94 Orchard St., b/t Broome & Delancey Sts. (212-375-0304).
SEE
Kaboom!
What: A Fringe play involving a con man, filthy language, and explosions of the orgasmic and chemical kinds.
Why: So funny you might onomatopee your pants.
When: Thru Aug. 23. Dates and times vary.
Where: Cherry Lane Theatre, 38 Commerce St., at Bedford St. (866-468-7619). Tickets online at fringenyc.org.