So, you’ve decided to get a dog? We consulted our resident pup panel for woofs, whines, and brass tacks. (Translated from bark.)
Rosie P (Coton de Tulear, 4 dog years): Don’t jerk little guys around! If you’re going to put something around our necks, get a harness that leads from our chest.
Ivy Thomas (Norwich terrier, 11): I love bacon-flavored meds from FlavoRx. Who cares if it’s a trick? I also love chicken potpie, tuna, and red Angus beef. C.O. Bigelow (414 Sixth Avenue; 212-533-2700) fills pet prescriptions.
Camille (pug, 66): I’m panting for that leash I saw at The Earnest Sewn Co. (821 Washington Street; 212-242-3414), handmade with an antique brass clasp. Mom wears it like a belt, which leaves her hands free. Proceeds help give dogs nice foster homes.
Moses (Yorkie, 21): Yap, yap, yap. I freak out at the sight of water! I get half baths with kiwi-scented Dry Dog spray.
Huckleberry (Boston terrier, 13): Don’t keep us locked up! Give us a sweet ride in that messenger bag with a pocket for kibble from DoggyStyle, NYC (73 Thompson Street; 212-431-9200). While you’re there, might as well get me groomed (from $75). I just rolled in poop.
Oliver (French bulldog, 7): We love rubbery toys filled with snacks. They’re mental exercise for geniuses. I get so distracted trying to get the food out, I hardly notice when I’m left to my own devices.
Oona (sweet mutt, 63): When Lisa Rotter ($85 per day/overnight; email@example.com) pet-sits, we listen to jazz in the park, and she treats me to roast beef if I perform tricks.
Puppy (shih tzu, 49): I used to be shy, but Andrea Arden’s school socialized me.
Max (shepherd mix, 14): Clearly. Now quit humping my leg.