Blow on these dice, March.
Shipwrecked! An Entertainment: The Amazing Adventures of Luis De Rougement (As Told by Himself)
What: A 19th-century adventure tale about a pearl-hunting expedition gone awry. (After washing up on a deserted island, the protagonist is incorporated into an aboriginal tribe.) It’s wild but not kitschy.
Why: Three tireless players for all characters and sound effects.
When: Thru Mar. 7. Tues., 7 p.m.; Wed.-Fri., 8 p.m.; Sat., 2 & 8 p.m.
Where: 59E59 Theaters, 59 E. 59th St., b/t Madison & Park Aves. (212-279-4200). Tix and info at ticketcentral.com.
Madame Geneva: Gin History, Cocktails, and Lore
What: Mixology wunderkind David Wondrich and PDT personality Jim Meehan will have you sampling potent concoctions of the shit-kicking liquor.
Why: Vodka’s for ladies. Who wants to be one of those?
When: Sat., 6:30-8:30 p.m.
Where: Astor Center, 399 Lafayette St., at E. 4th St. (212-763-0832). Tix and info at astorcenternyc.com.
The New Dark Age
What: Cast of trippy characters (dressed in “neon Aztec organic spandex”), glowing guts, and ladders leading nowhere. Is this what it feels like to be trapped in an arcade game?
Why: Devised by compelling comic book artist Ben Jones.
When: Thurs.-Sat., noon-6 p.m.
Where: Deitch Projects, 76 Grand St., b/t Wooster & Greene Sts. (212-343-7300).
What: Carving, drilling, screwing, and hammering makes class sound like an old-fashioned romp.
Why: Finish with a mallet and end table. Materials included.
When: Registration ends Mar. 3. Class starts Mar. 8.
Where: 3rd Ward, 195 Morgan Ave., at Stagg St., Bushwick (718-715-4961).
What: Pizza! Of the Roman variety (thin crust), cooked with care in a triple-decker electric oven and sold by the slice.
Why: The new Italian bakery serves lunch to the neglected FiDi set.
When: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.- 7 p.m.
Where: 90 Worth St., at Broadway (212-608-3222).
Armani Ristorante 5th Avenue
What: Swank Italian eatery sits atop Giorgio’s even swankier new midtown boutique.
Why: Gnocchetti, pappardelle, zucchini flan. So this is what fashion-friendly carb loading tastes like.
When: Mon.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun., 11:30 a.m.-6 p.m.
Where: 717 Fifth Ave., at 56th St. (212-207-1902).